"I am Light" - Devotional #28 About Your Identity In Christ by Anna Szabo

However you ended up on this webpage, you are reading the product of the rivers of living water. What is that? John 7:38 explains what happens to a believer when they abide in Christ and the Holy Spirit dwells in them: blessings pour out abundantly from their deepest being. The fruit of the Spirit shows, and the rivers of living water flow. That is how believers shine light in this world. I am light. You are, too. The rivers of living water in my case are my poetry, my Christian podcast, this Christian blog, my art, and books. All the content I create is ought to share my story, give God all the honor and glory, encourage and empower women, and spread hope so that we can alleviate suicide globally.

Table of Content hide

1 The Rivers of Living Water

2 The Light of The World

3 A Prophet To The Nations

4 I Am Light

I am Light #52Devotionals Devotions for Women by Anna Szabo

The Rivers of Living Water

Where does all the content I just mentioned come from? Not from me. Only through me. Whom does it come from? From the Lord. On this Christian blog, I share poetry but I had never written a poem prior to 2017. Today, I have a collection of 115 poems from God. In 2019, I started painting but I had not even owned any art supplies prior to that Spring. Today, I have a collection of 22 paintings with tales. I published a book of three Christian fairytales written in a day but prior to 2019, I not only did not write fairytales but wasn’t even considering something like this. These gifts came through me from God. They are the rivers of living water through which I shine light in the world to expose darkness.

Here’s how it all started…

In 2015, a man who worked at the mega-church I attended began courting me for marriage. He was so perfect that after each date, I’d write him a gratitude letter.

Four months after our wedding, my perfect Christian husband filed for divorce saying he wasn’t interested in me anymore and wanted to be an IronMan instead and compete in Kona. He called his bicycle “My other wife I cheat on you with” and I felt deceived, disoriented, devalued, discarded, and depressed.

In March of 2017, “all of a sudden” one morning I woke up with a poem dwelling in my head. It was 4 am. I was in my bed. And I was confused. Why? Because I had never been a poet. I captured the poem. Here it is for you. That day, another poem was born. I captured that one, too. Before I share my poems with you, let me give you some context for this content. Understanding the context will help you understand God, His light, and how He wants us to shine in the darkness.

I was enduring narcissistic relationship abuse in my marriage. The narcissist filed for his second divorce in our first eight months of marriage. We were about to have a divorce mediation. His divorce attorney scheduled our divorce mediation for March 7th, 2017. The morning I exploded with poetry was the day before.

So, now you know about the trials I was going through, the pain I was feeling, the mess I was dealing with, and in all that, God drew me close and blessed me with poetry and #52Devotionals. To demonstrate to you the abundance the rivers of living waters flowing from my deepest being to shine light in the world, I am sharing below a few links to my poems and the links to all 52 devotionals.

52 Devotionals

Poems from God

My breakthrough poem “Going Into The World and Telling” from March 11th, 2017 shares my revelation about being the light in the world. I am light and I must share the good news of Jesus Christ. I’m here to comfort those who endure pain like I did when God comforted me with His divine comfort. I am light not because I’m bright on my own but because Christ shines His light through me.

After that unusual morning with poetry explosions in my head, in the next few months, I wrote many poems, all based on the word of God. How is that possible for someone who had never done it before, never studied in poetry workshops, or even desired to be a poet? John 7:38 gave me the answer explaining where it all came from.

Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.
John 7:38

I believed in Jesus, I drew close to God in the midst of my narcissistic marriage, I asked for more of God, I pleaded for His supernatural healing, and He gave me the rivers of living water in a form of poetry flowing from deep within me, which refers to the Holy Spirit in me. The Holy Spirit gave me all this sacred content.

I began sharing my poems, and people started telling me how much the content of my rivers of living waters was helping them. None of it was from me. I wouldn’t even know how to go about writing a poem. It was all the product of the Holy Spirit dwelling in me.

And then, #52Devotionals began coming to me, one by one, at 4 am, every day, until the entire book of 52 Devotionals was complete. It’s called “52 Things God Says About You,” and I’ll give you a link below to download the book for free. Let me just tell you this: writing devotionals was not one of my life goals and surely it was not in my plans. But God’s plan prevails. We all know that. And so, I authored 52 Biblical devotionals. You’re about to be introduced to one of them.

Through this sacred content, I am light.

The Light of The World

Let me now share with you how shocking it was for me to write the poetry and the 52 Biblical devotionals. I just want you to understand from hearing my story that your light and the rivers of living water you explode with may not look like you. In fact, I felt like I went insane when all this creative content started coming out. I wrote it, yes, but I myself couldn’t believe or even comprehend how! The rivers of living water don’t come from you, so they don’t look like you.

I was never a poet or an artist. I had never bought a book of devotionals either. Next thing I knew, I was writing dozens of poems and devotionals a week! I am a new Christian. I had not even read the Bible in full prior to my writing of so much Bible-based content. I was shocked when it all started flowing. My educational background is in criminal justice and business administration. My life background is in sexual addiction, domestic violence, narcissistic abuse, and alcoholism. How could I possibly start exploding with the rivers of living water and share the Gospel with the world? How?! Here’s the answer.

You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
Matthew 5:14-16

That is how. God, through His Spirit, gave me the light to expose darkness in the world, and He didn’t ask for my permission. God anointed me and sent me into the world, like Jona, and just like Jona, at first, I was resenting His calling on my life. Why? I felt like I wasn’t good enough for ministry, like I was too broken, too insecure, etc. But that was my performer-perfectionist having fears. However, my faith is greater than my fear. I am the light of the world and I’m supposed to shine the light to others so that God can be glorified! I said “yes” to God and agreed to build this ministry. Ever since, God blessed me through people and people through me. Here are just some examples of the letters I receive.

Given my digital marketing background, I promised God to use my professional skills and His rivers of living water swirling in my heart to shine the light in the world. I built this website. I started a Christian podcast. I established a YouTube channel. I syndicated my content to Stitcher, SoundCloud, iHeart Radio, Spotify, iTunes, and over 20 different platforms globally, and I even agreed to produce meditations as God asked me to. I did all of this by myself with no help from any humans but God. I reached 10,000 people worldwide in my first few weeks. Glory to God! This story is for His glory. He anointed me to be a prophet to the nations and share the good news with all creation.

A Prophet To The Nations

Frankly, it was weird to listen to my voice across all those digital channels at first. It was both awesome and awkward to see people from 198 countries reading my content or listening to mu Christian guided meditations. I didn’t feel qualified. I felt like an imposter. I felt scared.

My content is vulnerable. It was fully guided by the Holy Spirit. I share the kinds of things you wouldn’t naturally want to disclose about yourself. I fought God often, especially not wanting to publish the 3.5-hour podcast called “Tell Me How You Really Feel” where I talked openly about my sexual addiction, abuse, anxiety, depression, and other afflictions.

But here’s the deal…

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.
Jeremiah 1:5

A prophet to the nations… Me? Wow…

Born out of wedlock during the crush of the USSR, raised on welfare by a single mom with mental health issues, I was assured by her that, as a stupid and ugly person, I would never amount to anything.

She told me again and again that I was worthless and a mistake.

My mom described to me often, without any regret, how she went to abort me. She would look me straight in the eye and say: “I hate you and I just want you dead!”

We were extremely poor but what I remember the most is not poverty but rather the fact that I had never experienced unconditional love.

I did experience a lot of violence and bullying from my cruel mother. I felt confused about who I was and why I was even born.

I attempted suicide twice as a child.

My grandmother was ashamed of me for being fatherless so much that she asked me to never call her “grandma” in public.

All I knew about my father was that he was in jail and that I was an unwanted accident.

So, I didn’t see myself as a good fit for ministry, let’s just be honest here. Ok? But God didn’t ask for my permission! He didn’t send me a contract to sign. Nope… He gave me this ministry. Period. Once I started hearing the feedback from women who found this ministry, Online Discipleship For Women, once I learned how God was helping them through my content and voice, I stopped fighting God and surrendered. In 2019, I quit my secular job as a SaaS Director of Marketing and dedicated my full time to this ministry, encouraging and empowering women.

Donate To Support This Ministry

I realized that being a prophet to the nations may not have been written into the curriculum at the four universities, from which I graduated, but it’s the most important work I can possibly ever do in God’s kingdom. Feeling unqualified is no longer a problem because none of this work is done in my own power but through Christ. Sharing the Gospel is the way God asked me to shine my light in order to glorify Him

What about you?

How has God asked you to shine light?

What is He saying to you right now?

Can you recognize the rivers of living water swirling within you? If you believe that God appointed you to be a prophet to the nations and share His light with the world, memorize the Biblical affirmation below and practice it daily to remind yourself about your purpose.

I Am Light

I am Light #52Devotionals

I am the light in the world,
Made on purpose, to glorify God.
Shining through me is my Lord. 
By the blessings of the living water I’m awed.

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The cover image on this blog was taken in 2014 when I went to Chattanooga, TN and did skydiving for the first time in my life. I remember jumping out of the airplane and flying in the clouds, looking down, seeing God’s precious creation, and thinking: “I am a child of God, I am a daughter of the King, I am a Princess!” A few months later, I got baptized, which was the first time I was shining light in front of 3000 church service attendees at Buckhead Church. This was years ago, and God has been drawing me closer ever since, making me more courageous and bold. This is my story. A story of God’s amazing grace and glory.

I want to hear from you!

Share with me in the comments below about the rivers of living water flowing from within you. What is God doing through you in His Kingdom? Give God all the glory with your story! I can’t wait to hear about your journey. Below is the free book I promised you.

Anna Szabo

Anna Szabo is the founder of Online Discipleship For Women, a Christian ministry committed to helping alleviate suicide among women globally by sharing hope in Christ. Anna teaches how to create a joyful life by embracing God’s word based on her six pillars of joyful living: faith, food, fitness, finances, felicity, and fortitude. She is a Christian speaker, YouTuber, artist, poet, and blogger who created 2,000,000 words of Gospel-focused content to encourage and empower you. Donate to show your support.

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The Rivers of Living Water

The Light of The World

A Prophet To The Nations

I Am Light

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